Paint Wars
by Riuolo
Summary: Naruto enlists Sasuke's help in painting his apartment. Simple enough, right? Nothing's ever simple with Naruto... SasuNaru if you squint and tilt your head to the side. Written for the Neo SasuNaru Exchange! AU.


**Paint Wars**

"Hurry up, stupid Sasuke!" Naruto called, rushing forward with a can of paint in each hand. "_Now_ who's the slowpoke?" he taunted, briefly stopping so he could spin around and shoot Sasuke a superior look.

Sasuke responded with an annoyed glare, two cans of paint in his hands, as well. "Unlike you, I don't want to rush around and look like a complete moron in public," he replied arrogantly.

The two were both walking down a sidewalk, heading for Naruto's apartment. Naruto had just moved apartments, and had decided a new paint job was in order after seeing the plain, blank walls. He had managed to recruit Sasuke to help him, for reasons unknown to his friend.

But what was even more mysterious, even to Sasuke himself, was why he had agreed to help. He ultimately chalked it up to how annoyingly persistent the idiot could be.

They'd both known each other for several years, and though their relationship had started out—still was, actually—rather rocky, they both considered the other their unspoken best friend. But they'd never say that out loud, of course; what a _girly_ thing to admit, they would think! Besides, some things were better left unsaid.

And now they were sixteen, and Naruto was newly emancipated and out of the foster care system. He'd somehow managed to convince a judge that he'd be able to make it on his own, though Sasuke still wasn't quite sure how he'd done it. Naruto wasn't exactly the picture of 'responsible.'

It wasn't long after that they arrived at Naruto's new apartment. Naruto immediately kicked off his shoes and made his way onto the plastic-covered floor. Sasuke took his time, placing his shoes neatly by the door before looking around warily.

"Hey," Sasuke began, the slightest bit hesitant, "are you sure this is okay? I mean…"

"Oh, it's fine," Naruto said, loftily brushing off his concern. "That old hag doesn't care what I do." It was true, for the most part. The owner of the apartment complex, Tsunade, had a known soft spot for Naruto.

Sasuke shrugged, silently admitting to this, before following Naruto into the room.

Naruto had already taken care of most of the preliminary work, from the looks of things. Plastic covered all of the carpet and floors, blue painter's tape protected all of the trim, and Sasuke was even a little impressed to notice that his usually irresponsible friend had even taken the time to wash all of the dust, dirt, and grease off of the walls.

"Alright!" Naruto exclaimed, grabbing a brush and lifting it above his head as if it were a mighty weapon. "Let's do this!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, but picked up his own paint roller all the same.

They split up the tasks, each agreeing on their own parts of the walls to work on. Just as Sasuke found himself wondering if the day would actually go smoothly for once, he went to take a look at the paints Naruto had chosen.

He had expected standard colors—maybe some warm browns, soft greens, possibly a bright blue—but this was anything but. When Sasuke took the lids off of the cans, he paused and could only stare with incredulity for a few moments.

"Naruto, what did you buy?" Sasuke asked, his voice filled with every bit of disbelief that he felt.

Naruto looked over as Sasuke spoke, a bright smile lighting up his expression when he caught sight of the paints. "I chose some good colors, huh?" he replied, nodding. He was actually rather proud of himself.

Sasuke promptly shot him down. "You have no taste, moron."

"What did you say?" Naruto exclaimed loudly and indignantly, abandoning the ladder he was setting up so he could stomp over to Sasuke. Naruto grabbed the paint can out of Sasuke's hands, clutching it to his chest as if it were a precious object. "I chose wonderful colors, jerk!"

"No, you really didn't," Sasuke said, critically eyeing the paint cans that surrounded them. There was an obnoxiously bright orange, a blue that looked like everything bad about the sky had thrown up on it, a 'red' that was bordering on pink, and a green that looked more like slime than paint. Quite frankly, Sasuke wasn't quite sure what Naruto had been thinking when he'd chosen the colors.

Naruto remained defiant. "Hey, this is my apartment! I can paint it whatever I want!" he declared.

Sasuke looked like he wanted to argue the point further, but finally relented. "Fine, but don't blame me when your apartment ends up looking like crap."

Naruto practically cackled in joy and shoved a paint can in Sasuke's hands. "You start painting with the blue over there," he pointed to the wall they had agreed upon earlier, "and I'll start with the orange. Let's do this!" He ran over to a cheap radio Sasuke hadn't noticed before and pressed 'play.' Immediately, some loud rock band that Sasuke didn't recognize started playing, and he had to resist the temptation to throw a paintbrush at the annoying contraption. He was going to get a headache.

Looking back and seeing Sasuke's expression, Naruto's grin widened. "Stop being such a diva and get to work already, bastard," he said, waving his paintbrush mockingly. "The walls aren't going to paint themselves."

Sasuke glared. "Hn," he mumbled bitterly. Naruto, who was very fluent in Sasuke-speak, translated this in his head to mean, 'Don't order me around. You should be grateful I'm helping you at all.'

"I'd probably be more grateful if you'd actually work," Naruto mocked.

Sasuke felt his temper flare, and the annoying music blasting in the background didn't help. "Whatever," he finally said, taking his paint and roller and heading over to where he was supposed to be. If there was more of a stomp in his step than usual… Well, Naruto knew better than to comment on it.

Sasuke was diligently working, all the while telling himself that the sooner he got this done, the sooner he could go home, when he felt something hit the back of his head. Absentmindedly, he reached a hand back where he had felt the hit, but didn't feel anything out of place. He looked back at Naruto just to be sure, but he appeared innocent enough to Sasuke. Naruto was just painting, and looked pretty absorbed in what he was doing.

Chalking the whole occurrence up to his imagination, Sasuke went back to painting. Naruto made the occasional small talk with him, but the two mostly just allowed the music to fill the silence. Sasuke had to admit to himself that the simplicity and repetitiveness of painting a wall was nice, almost soothing, despite the annoying music and colors.

Then Sasuke felt it again.

Another glob hit the back of his head, and before Sasuke could even reach to feel it he heard a low, almost inaudible snicker.

Sasuke froze, momentarily disbelieving. Then he swiftly ran a hand through his hair, quickly encountering something wet. His hand was back in front of his face in a flash, and to his horror he saw that it was covered in _orange_.

The next moment, his hand clenched into a tight fist.

"Naruto…" Sasuke spoke, his voice dark—dangerous, even. He didn't turn around, just looking at his hand instead.

When Naruto spoke, Sasuke could tell he was holding back a laugh. "Yeah?" he asked, clearly having no sense of self-preservation.

That was when Sasuke snapped.

In the blink of an eye, the paint can Sasuke had been using was in his hands and he was reaching a cupped hand inside, quickly proceeding to throw a handful of the blue monstrosity directly at Naruto's head.

But Naruto seemed to be anticipating this. He dove out of the way just in time, though a good bit of the paint still managed to hit his shoulder. He tried to hastily reach for his own can, but Sasuke was faster, throwing more paint at Naruto with deadly precision.

Naruto rolled to avoid the attacks, but still suffered heavy 'injury.' Luckily, he had thought fast as he was dodging attacks, and now found himself by his paint can. "You're going down, Sasuke!" he declared, picking up the paint and wasting no time in returning fire.

The ensuing battle was fierce. Naruto had managed to knock over a table they had set their supplies on, and then turned it onto a fort in a corner of the room. Sasuke, on the other hand, was uncharacteristically in no mood to employ strategy, and instead opted for a full frontal assault. He relentlessly rained paint down upon Naruto, and despite Naruto's best efforts it was hard to keep up.

When Naruto heard the sound of an empty paint can being thrown against his table fort, he paused a moment to wonder if it was over. Breathing hard, he strained his ears for any sign of what Sasuke might be doing, not daring to look over his fort and check.

That's why it was such a surprise when a shadow suddenly fell over his form. Naruto barely resisted the urge to let out a high-pitched shriek of terror as he was abruptly grabbed by the collar of his jacket and yanked out of his fort.

"Noooo!" Naruto yelled, defiant. "This isn't the end!" He struggled out of Sasuke's hold, finally freeing himself with a well-placed kick to the shin. Sasuke gave a small grunt of pain, and Naruto scurried away. He picked up his abandoned paintbrush, and watched with determined eyes as Sasuke grabbed his own.

"Heh," Naruto said, smiling wickedly. "You ready for this, you bastard?"

Sasuke's eye ticked dangerously. "It's time you learned not to be so cocky."

Then, with timing so perfect they were almost in sync, they each took their paintbrush and hurled it directly at the other. The paintbrushes hit Sasuke and Naruto directly in the stomach, causing the two to let out a small "Oof," before curling up and falling to the paint-covered floor. They practically blended right in, what with how colorful they both were from sustaining paint injuries during their battle.

They were both breathing hard, their chests rising and falling in rapid succession. Neither were quite sure how long they'd been going, just that it had probably been a while. And while they weren't exactly out of shape, what they had just done had been quite the workout.

Suddenly, Naruto laughed. Sasuke looked over, silently questioning.

Naruto smiled. "It's just, well, lately you've been so _boring_," he made a face, "and I was starting to wonder where the jerk I knew and loved was," he explained, nodding to himself. "You've just been letting things slide and giving into everything; always just going with whatever I say! And where's the fun in that?"

It seemed Naruto's grin was contagious, as Sasuke found himself smiling back without actually giving his mouth the order to do so. He scoffed, though the action wasn't quite as effective as it normally was. "One of us has to be responsible and take the high ground, moron," he said.

"Yeah? Well, then, we're screwed. Just look at my apartment! Don't even try to pretend like you're a responsible adult after doing this."

Sasuke's eyes closed, feeling truly content for the first time in a long while. "Yeah…" he agreed.

"But you know," Naruto said, casting his eyes around the room, "I kind of like it. It looks all artistic and shit. Maybe I'll just keep it this w—"

Naruto was cut off by the sound of a door being angrily slammed open.

"Brat, I've gotten numerous complaints about the noise, and… NARUTO!"

Naruto's whole body seemed to seize up at the sound of Tsunade's angry voice.

"Oh, no…" he whispered, wide-eyed.

"WHAT THE _HELL_ DID YOU DO TO THIS APARTMENT?" Tsunade screeched, practically flying into the room Naruto and Sasuke were in.

Naruto hastily scrambled to his feet and tried to make a quick escape, but his efforts were in vain. Tsunade was blocking the only exit, and though he seriously considered it, the window was too high to jump from.

He was trapped.

Sasuke just looked on, mildly amused.

"Now, granny, it's not what it looks lik—_ouch_! Hag, if you would just liste—Ow, _ow_, OW! AH, NOT THE RADIO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!"

* * *

**A/N**: Wooooo~! For any of you who are curious, this was my entry for the Neo SasuNaru Exchange. I had the pleasure of filling the lovely Fourangers' prompt, and I had a lot of fun doing it! I'm afraid this came out looking quite boring, though. It took me a while to come up with something even remotely good, and then I was rushing near the end to get it done in time. Somehow, I did it! *cheers*

To give you guys a quick update on my other story, Mustering Happiness, I'm working on it now! The exchange sidetracked me a lot, but now I'm back to writing more of MH! Hopefully it shouldn't take me too much longer to finish. Let's keep our fingers crossed!


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